For Bella
by VivaLa-Sarahh
Summary: I always wondered Edwards Point of view in New Moon. So here is my interpretation of it.
1. Disclaimer

**Oh hey.**

_I don't own Twilight or the characters for that matter._

_I just play around with them_

_If I owned them, I wouldn't have been the one who wrote this_

_And my name would have been on the cover of The saga._

_And i would have had a cameo in the movie_

_Also, I would have met Robert. So yeah._

_This has officially been DISCLAIMED._


	2. Chapter 1

_**For Bella**_

_Chapter 1- Party_

Bella drove into the Forks High School parking lot with her ancient Chevy Truck. I still did not understand why she would not let me but her something that was small and quiet, but she insisted on keeping it because it was 'hers'.

She looked rather rattled and in another world when she parked her vehicle, and for the umpteenth time wished to be able read her mind. Alice was standing next to me and skipped off to meet Bella half way. They had become incredible friends, as Alice had predicted 6 months earlier.

"Happy birthday Bella!" she screamed at her. I knew that she would regret that.

"Shh!" she hissed. I chucked under my breath. She glanced around the parking lot making sure that no one had heard.

Alice ignored Bella's request and continued, "Do you want to open your present now or later?" she asked eagerly while they made their way toward me still.

"No presents," Bella mumbled.

Aliced caught onto her mood and finally said, "Okay... later, then. Did you like the scrapbook your mom sent you? And the camera from Charlie?"

Bella sighed, "Yeah. They're great."

"_I_ think it's a nice idea. Your only a senior once. Might as well document the experience."

"How many times have _you_ been a senior?" I sighed.

"That's different"

They finally reached be and I pushed up off of my Volvo and reached out my hand for Bella to take. Without hesitating, like other humans would if we were near, she too it eagerly. The warmth of her touch still shocked me, along with the scent of freesia, and strawberrys. It overwhelmed me everytime. I gave her fingers a gentle sqeeze and her heart stutterd and I smiled again.

I lifted my hand and traced my fingertip outside her lips as I spoke. "So, as discussed, I am not allowed to wish you a happy birthday, is that correct?"

"Yes. That is correct."

"Just checking. You _might _have changed your mind. Most people seem to enjoy thins like birthdays and gifts." another attempt to get her a new vehicle. Alice laughed.

"Of course you'll enjoy it. Everyone is supposed to be nice to you today and give you your way, Bella. What's the worst that could happen?"

"Getting older." Bella replied unsteadily. I frowned and my mouth turned into a hard line.

"Eighteen isn't very old," Alice said. "Don't women usually wait till they're twenty-nine to get upset over birthdays?" I really wish Alice left it alone because _I _didn't need to read Bella's mind to know what she was thinking.

"It's older than Edward," she mumbled and I sighed.

"Technically, just by one little year, though. What time will you be at the house?"

"I didn't know i had plans to be there." I smirked a little.

"Oh, be fair, Bella!" She said complaining. "You aren't gonna ruin all our fun like that, are you?" I kept smirking.

"I thought my birthday was about what _I_ want."

I ignored Bella, "I get her from Charlie's right after school,"

"I have work." she tried.

"You don't actually, I already spoke to Mrs. Newton about it. She's trading your shifts. She said to tell you 'Happy Birhday.'" I was smiling again, Alice always thought of everything, it comes with the visions I guess.

"I--I still can't come over... I, well I haven't watched _Romeo and Juliet _yet for English." she stammered. I silently chuckled at her lame attempt at an excuse.

"You have _Romeo and Juliet _memorized" Alice snorted.

"But Mr. Berty said that we need to see it perforemed to fummy appreciate it--that's how Shakespeare intented it to be presented." I rolled my eyes.

"You already seen the movie," Alice accused.

"But not the 1960's version. Mr. Berty said it was the best." Alice stopped smiling and glared at Bella.

"This can be easy, or it can be hard, Bella, but one way or the other--" I had an idea,

"Relax, Alice. If Bella wants to watch a moive, then she can. It's her birthday."

"So there." Bella added. I smiled,

"I'll bring around about seven. That will give you more time to set up."

Alice laughed, "Sounds good. See you tonight, Bella! It'll be fun, you'll see." she smiled, pecked Bell on the cheak and danced off toward her first class leaving Bella with her mmought gaping.

"Edward, please--" she stared to say but I predd my finger to her lips,

"Let's discuss this later. We're going to be late for class."

We walked hand in hand toward toward our first class that we had together. I had almost had every class with Bella, thanks to what Bella called my 'dazzilng' look that i gave people. Mike Newtond had stopped staring, and I was happy because now I didn't have to constantly hear his thoughts cursing the idea of me and Bella together. Now all I heard was sulking, and if only's.

The day progressed quickly only because of Bella, and soon it was lunch. We all sat together, meaning Myself, Bella, Alice and Bella's friends. Lauren wasn't counted as a friend, I didn't like the way Lauren thought of Bella, the way her thoughts were always so brusque. The afternoon also passed quickly and I walked Bella to her truck and held the passenger door open for her. She folded her arms and refused to step into the vehicle.

"It's my birthday, don't I get to drive?"

"I'm pretending it's not your birtday, just as you wished." I protested against her request.

"If it's not my birthday, then I don't have to go to your house tonight..." she pouted.

"All right." I said and shut the door to walk around to the otherside and said, "Happy birthday."

"Shh." she halfheartedly shushed me and climbed in.

While we drove I played wth her radio and frowned and shook my head, "Your radio has horrible reception." another attempt, although I was setting this up for her birthday.

She frowned, "You want a nice stereo? Drive your own car." she said rather harshly, but I let it go knowing that it was only becuase she was so nervous. Instead I pressed my lips together to keep from laughing. When she parked infront of Charlie's house I reached over to hold her delicate face in my capable hands resting my fingertips on her templesm cheaks, and jawline.

"You should be in a good mood, today of all days," I whispered.

"And if I don't want to be in a good mood?" her breathing haggard.

"To bad." and I leaned in to press my lips against her warm soft lips. I had intented on making forget and this worked everytime. I felt her arms wrap around my neck and my lips curved upward and I knew. I let go of her face to unlock her grip on my neck. "Be good, please." and kissed hed lightly one more time. She folded her arms across her stomach adn huffed. Then took one of her hands and put it over her heart and I heard it drum hyperactively.

"Do you think that I'll ever get better at this? That my heart might someday stop trying to jump out of my chest whenever you touch me?"

"I really hope not." I said cassualy. I loved to know that I had that effect on her, and to know that I was good at it. She rolled her eyes.

"Let's go watched the Capulets and the Montagues hack eachother up, all right?"

"Your wish, my comand." I replied.

I layed on her counch and watched her as Bella stared to movie and fast-forwarded throught all the opening credits. When she was done she came and sat of the edge of the couch in front of me. I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her against my chest with a blanket over her. She started to watch the movie and I glanced up from watching her and saw Romeo,

"You knowm I've never really had much patience with Romeo,"

"What's wrong with Romeo?" she asked, seeming a little bit offended.

"Well, first of all, he's in love with Rosaline-- don't you think that makes him a little fickle? And then, just a few minutes afeter thrit wedding, he kills Juliet's cousin. That's not very brilliant. Mistake after mistake. Could he have destroyed his happiness any more thoroughly?" I finished.

She sighed, and I relished in the scent, "Do you want me to watch this alone?"

"No, I'll mostly be watching you, anyway." I said as I aimlessly drew on her arm with my finger, raising goosebumps, "Will you cry?"

"Probably, if I'm paying attention"

"I won't distract you then." I said innocently pressing my lips to her hair, desensitized by the scent once again. The movie seemed to capture her interest and I whispered all the lines to her. And she did cry. I was very amused, i love to see Bella show her emotions. But when I was to one to cause this pain, I hated my self and wished that I had never exsisted.

"I'll admit," I intejected during the scene when Romeo kills himself. "I do sort o envy him here," and dried her tears with a lock of hair.

"She's very pretty." she dared to say.

I was disgusted "I don't envy him the _girl_-- just the ease of sucide." I teased. "You humans have it so easy! Al you have to do is throw down one tiny vial of plant extracts..."

"What!" she gasped.

"It's something that had to think about once, and I knoew form Carlisle's experience that it wouldn't be simple. I'm not even sure how many ways Carlisle tried to kill himself in the beginning... after he realized what he had become... And clearly he is still in excellent health." I said in a light tone.

"What are you taking about? What do you mean this is something you had to think about once?"

I explained the whole Pheonix episode and how she was early killed, because of me.

"Of course I was trying to focus on finding yuo alive, but part of my mind was making constingency plans. Like I said, it's not easy for me as it is for a human." Bella looked lilke she was think hard about something and then then shook her head and asked,

"Constingency plans?"

"Well, wasn't going to live without you." I rolled my eyes, she still hadn't got it that I could never exsist with out her, "But i wasn't sure howto _do_ it--I know taht Emmet and Jasper would never help... so I was thinkking maybe I would go to the to Italy and do something to provoke the Volturi." I focused on the memory and then heard Bella erupt,

"What's a _Volturi_?"

"The Volturi are a family. A very old, very powerful family of our kind. They are the closest thing to a roal family, I suppose. Carlisle lived with them briefly in his early years, in Italy, before he settled in America--do you remember the story." I asked her because I was not sure if she did becasue humans memories are weak sometimes.

"Of course I remember."

"Anyway," I said to shake her out of her day dream, "you don't irrita the Volturi. Not unless you want to die--or whatever it is that we do." I said calmly, comtemplating what it is what we do, since I think I do not have a soul. Soon after hearing what i said, Bella took my face in her warm hands and told me sternly,

"You must never, neverm never think of anything like that again! No matter what might ever happen to me, you are _not allowed _to hurt yourself!" she looked absoluelt horrified at this. I just disregarded it and replied,

"I'll never put you in danger again, so it's a moot point."

"_Put _me in danger! I thought we established that the bad luck is my fault. How dare you even think like that?"

"What would you do, if the situation were reversed?" I countered.

"That's not the same thing." I chuckled.

"What if something did happen to you? Would you want me to just go _off_ myself?"

That hurt, but I realized she was right, again. I winced at the thought. "I guess i see your point... a little. But what would I do without you?" I asked, trying to make her see ow much she meant to me in the whole.

"Whatever you were doing before i came alogn and complicated your exsistence." she retaliated. i sigh at the difficulty that would bring me,

"You make that sound so easy."

"It should be. I'm really not that interesting."

I was going to argue with her, that she was the single most interesting person to mem but then I heard the familiar thoughts of Charlie's and the police crusier down the street. I quickly sat up and pulled Bella with me and shifted her so she was nto touching me, only respecting her father. "Charlie?" she asked and I smiled. She heard him drive of the diveway, and took my hand firmly, and i was glad to be in contact with her once more. He came in with a pizza box and asked us to join i poliely refused and waited for them to finish before i asked,

"Do you mind if I borrow Bella for the evening?" Bella looked at Charlie hopefully, obviously hoping he would have some plans for them. But I knew he didn't. He of cousre didn't mind, there was a game on tonight and he wouldn't be any fun. In his words. He suggested to take to camera and tossed to Bella, and of course she couldn't catch it so I caught it. She then picked it up and snapped the first picture of me.

"It works."

Charlie looked eager to watch the game and dissmissed us and i smiled and took Bella's hand and drug her off the the truck. I opened the passenger door because she still didn't know her way to my home.

I pushed the old Chevy past fifty and it groaned, and protested at the speed.

"Take it easy." Bella warned me.

"You know what you would love? A nice little Audi coupe. Very quiet, lots of power..." Attempt number three today.

"There's nother wrong with my truck. And speaking of expensve non-essentials, if you know waht's good for you, you didn't spend anymoney on birthday presents."

"Not a dime," I promised.

"Good."

I wanted her to be happy but I wanted this to be perfect, "Can you do me a favour?"

"That depends on what it is."

I sighed, and looked at her, "Bella, the last real birthday any of us has was Emmet in 1935. Cut us a little slack and don't be to difficult tonight. They're all really excited."

"Fine, I'll behave..."

"I probably should warn you..." I started.

"Please do."

"When I say they're all excited... I do mean all of them."

"Everyone? I thought Emmett and Rosalie were in Africa."

"Emmett wanted to be here."

"But... Rosalie?"

"I know, Bella. Don't worry she'll be on her best behavior."

I decided to change the subject to trying to atempt yet again to let me get her something that costed money,

"So, if you won't let me get you the Audi, isn't there anything yuo would lik for your birthday?"

She then whispered, "You know what I want."

I frowned. Creases appearing in my forehead.

"Not tonight, Bella. Please."

"Well mybe Alice will give me what I want."

A growl escaped my lips, "This isn't going to be your last birthday, Bella." I vowed.

"That's not fair!" With that, i clenched my jaw shut with a loud snap. I heard Bella moan. I took some deep breaths to calm myself, and filally said,

"This is a party, try to be a good sport."

"Sure." I walked over to her door and offered my hand. "I have a question." I waited warily, "If i develop this film, will you show up in the picture." And I laughed. While we were still walking up to the door I was still laighing and then opend the door for Bella.

"Happy Birthday Bella!" sang a chorus when she walked in. The place was covered in candles and crystal bowls filled with roses. I sensed Bella distress and wrapped my arm around her waist, and kissed the top of her head. Carlisle then put his arm around her shoulders and said,

"Sorry about this, Bella, we couldn't rein Alice in."

Emmett then talked to Bella and said that he had to step out for a moment, he was actually installing a new radio in Bella's truck. Alice danced over to Bella,

"Time to open presents." Alice declared.

"Alice, I know I told you I didn't want anything--"

"But I didn't listen," Alice interupted, with a smug smile on her pixie like face, "Open it." she finished hand a silver box to Bella, trading it with her camera. I smiled as she opened it and sat there with a confused look on her face, finding the box empty.

"Um... thanks." Rosalie smiled, which I hadn' expected from _her _but she did, and Jasper laughed lightly and explained "It's a radio for your truck, Emmett is installing it right now so that you can't return it." She reminisced from earlier. "Thanks, Jasper, Rosalie," She paused, "Thanks, Emmett!" she called a little more loudly. His booming laugh came from the truck and Bella laughed. I loved hearing her laugh, she always laughed so lightheartedly. As if she weren't surrounded by six vampires.

"Open mine and Edward's next." Alice said, eagerly jabbing the small silver box at Bella. Bella turned on me,

"You promised." Just then Emmet came bounding in the door, "Just in time!"

"I didn't spend a dime." I assured her, catch a piece of loose hair and tucking behind her ear, leaving my skin tingling from the touch. Bella inhaled deeply and turned back to Alice,

"Give it to me." Bella siged. Emmett laughed delightfully. Bella rolled her eyes at me and jerked her finger under the silver paper, I smelt it before I saw it.

"Shoot." she muttered. Then I heard Jasper's thoughts and roared,

"No!" I pushed Bella out of the way and she landed in a pile of shattered glass and Jasper crashing into me. Jasper snapped her teeth inches away from my face, knowing well enough that his teeth could actually pierce my granite skin. But I would rather have that scar then have Bella die by the hand of my brother, and myself. Bella had a large cut and the scent of her blood was almost overwhelming but I held my breathe. I could live with myself if i had hurt her, but i was going crazy with her just sitting there, her blood spilling everywhere. She looked up and saw us, she looked terrified. I couldn't blame her.


	3. Chapter 2

_**For Bella**_

_Chapter 2- Understanding_

Luckily for us Carlisle was the only sane one out of all of us. He look at the situation carefully and said authoritatively,

"Emmett,Rose, get Jasper outside." They didn't smile and all Emmett did was nod and say was "Come one Jasper." Jasper struggled uselessly in Emmett's arm and snapped his teeth at him. He was still beyond reasonsing and the only way to reason with him was to get him out of the smell.

I suspected that my face was white, blank and uncaring... but I could care less at that point, I was still trying to keep my breath in and not smell Bella's blood. I crouched in front of Bella, making sure that if, Jasper got loose I would be prepared, for the attack, then growled. Esme held the door open with one hand and the other over her mouth and nose, her thoughts were ashamed and that went along with her face,

"I'm so sorry, Bella." and she went into the yard with the others.

"Let my by Edward." I contemplated that for what seemed like a few minutes but only lasted a second, a nodded slowly and came out of my deffensive possition.

"Here Carlisle" Alice said, handing Carlisle a towel.

"To much glass in the wound." he then ripped a long piece of fabric from the bottom of the table cloth to form a tourniquet around Bella's arm. I looked at Bella, then remembered that one day at school, when they were doing blood test last year. She hated the smell of blood, she said it smelled like rust and salt, which it of course did not, to me at least. She looked dizzy.

"Bella," Carlisle spoke softly to Bella, "Would you like me to drive you to hospital, or would you like me to take care of it here?"

"Here, please." she whispered, knowing that she wanted Charlie not to know of this, although he would eventually find out.

"I'll get your bag." Alice said, I wasn't surprised she was still by her side. Alice cared about Bella almost as much as me... Almost.

"Let's take her to the kitchen table." Carlisle said to me. I lifted Bella easily, still holding my breath while Carlisle kept a steady pressure on her arm.

"How are you doing, Bella?"

"I'm fine." her voice was steady. I put Bella down gently in a chair and stood over her. "Just go Edward." she sighed when she looked at me.

"I can handle it." I insisted, wanting desparately to stay by her side even though it was so difficult to restrain myself, but I still did.

"You don't need to be a hero." she continued, "Carlisle can fix me up without your help. Get some fresh air." she knew me to well, but i just couldn't leave,

"I'll stay."

"Why are you being so masochistic?" she mumbled almost incoherantly.

"Edward you may as well go find Jasper before he gets to far. I'm sure he's upset with himself, and I doubt he'll listen to anyone but you righ tnow."

"Yes. Go find Jasper."

"You may as well do something useful." Alice added on to the end. I narrowed my eyes at her and everyone while they ganged up on me even though I knew that they were right. I nodded once and sprinted out the back door to go find Jasper. I found him deep in the forest sulking about the incident.

"Jasper--"

"Leave Edward. Don't try to make this better because you can't. I'm a monster and can't control myself."

"Jasper, if you think your a monster think of how I should feel. I put Bella in danger yet again--"

"Danger being me."

"I am as well a danger Jasper. Her blood is more potent than any other persons and i just about couldn't handle it. You can not blame yourself for my mistake anymore Jasper. I should have known that Bella would have gotten hurt..." I paused and almost laughed because of Bella, being the danger magnet that she is, but then stopped, "I should have been more careful." I shook my head in dissapointment.

"Edward, You have to stop blaming yourself. Even Bella tells you that, she's right." I couldn't listen to him. He was wrong. I nodded, I couldn't bring myself to talk. "Edward, you should go now, Carlisle is probably done now." I nodded again silently and sprinted back to the house just to hear Carlisle finish, "I suppose I should take you home."

"I'll do that." I intergected and they both look up to see me walk through the door. She looked at me with unease. I couldn't blame her.

"Carlisle can take me." she said as she lookeed down at her shirt that was now soaked and spotted with blood and pink frosting.

"I'm fine. You'll need to change anyway. You'd give Charlie a heart attack the way you look. I'll have Alice get you something." I finished and walked out of the door. A little while later, Alice and I walked back into the room and Alice ran to Bella's side but I stayed back.

"C'mon, I'll get you something less macabre to wear." I heard them whipering upstairs, but paid no attention, My thoughts were to busy preoccupied. They came downstairs and I was standing by the front door, when she got down the stairs I opend the door without saying in anything.

"Take your things!" Alice screamed as Bella walked towards me. "You can thank me later, when you've opened them." she said after she shoved Bella's things into her good arm. Carlisle and Esme both said goodnight and looked at me. I walked along side Bella, I held the passenger door open and she climbed in. I got in the otherside and started driving toward her house. She seemed annoyed, then she finally spoke,

"Say something."

"What do you want me to say?" I asked detached.

She cringed at my tone, "Tell me you forgive me." That surprised me. _Forgive her. _ What did she do?! I was angry,

"Forgive _you_? For what?"

"If I had been more careful, nothing would have happened."

"Bella, you gave yourself a paper cut--that hardly deserves the death penalty."

"It's still my fault." That was it, how dare she blame herself for myself being the monster I was!

"Your fault! If you cut yourself at Mike Newtons's house, with Jessica there and Angela and your other normal friends, the worst that could happen would be what?" I took a small pause, "Maybe they couldn't find you a bandage? If you tripped and knocked over a pile of glass plates on your own--" i paused again, "without some throwing you into them-- even then, what's the worst? You get blood on the seats when they drove you to the emergency room? Mike Newton could have held your hand," that pained me internally but i kept going, "while they stitched you up--and he wouldn't have been fighting the urge to kill you the whole time he was there. Don't try to take any of this on yourself, Bella. It' will only make me more disgusted with myself." I stopped and looked at Bella. She looked angry,

"How the hell did Mike Newton end up in this conversation?" She demanded of me.

"Mike Newton ended up in this conversation because Mike Newton would have been a hell of a lot healthier for you to be with." I said in a harsh growl.

"I'd rather die than be with Mike Newton, I'd rather ddie than to be with anyone but you."

"Don't be so melodramatic, please."

"Well then, don't be so ridiculous." I didn't answer, I just stared out the windshield. When we pulled up to her house and I kiled the engine but kept my hands on the steering wheel.

"Will you stay tonight?" she asked. Although i would have loved to i was still to dissapointed in myself for earlier.

"I should go home."

"For my birthday." she pressed.

"You can't have it both ways--either you want people to ignore you birthday, or you don't. One or the other." I wasn't as harch as bfore, my tone lighter.

"Okay. I've decided that i don't want you to ignore my birthday. See you upstairs." she reached back and grabbed the presents.

"You don't have to take those."

"I want them."

"No, you don't, Carlisle and Esme spent money on you."

"I'll live." and climbed out of the truck. I got out and offered,

"Let me carry them at least. I'l be in your room." she smiled and it took my breath away,

"Thanks."

"Happy birthday." I sighed and bent down to kissed her lips lightly she reached up on her tiptoes to make it last longer. I pulled away and smiled crookedly at her and darted away. When i got up to her room I sat on her bed and thought about today, while playing with one off her presents. She walked in,

"Hi." I said. My voice sounded sad. She climbed into my lap and snuggled close to me,

"Hi. Can I open my presents now?"

"Where did the enthusiasm come from?"

"You made me curious." She picked up the flat rectanglular box that was from Carlisle and Esme.

"Allow me." I ripped the rest of the wrapping paper. She opend the lid and concentrated and then caught onto what it was,

"We're going to Jacksonville?" she started.

"That's the idea." she went on and said Renee would love it and then when she was done, I chuckled and said,

"Now I wish I'd spent money on your present. I didn't realize that you were capable of being reasonable." she set down the tickets and reached form my present. I took it from her and opend it. "What is it?" she asked. I didn't say anything, but I put the CD into the CD player and waited. She started to cry, I became anxious and asked,

"Does your arm hurt?"

"No it's not my arm. It's beautiful, Edward. You couldn't have given me anything I would love more. I can't believe it." she stopped for a while so I said,

"I didn't thik you would let me get you a piano so i could play it for you right here."

"Your right."

"How does your arm feel?"

"Just fine." I didn't believe her.

"I'll get you some Tylenol."

"I don't need anything." She tried but I slid carefully off her,

"He won't catch me." and slid out the door, and came back in before the door touched the frame. She took the pills without an argument.

"It's late." I noted and quickly covered Bella up with me on the other side of her. I put my arm around her and she leaned her head against my shoulder. She thanked me again and kept listening to the CD. I kept thinking about that day, and how wrong it went.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked. I hesitated for a moment.

"I was thinking about right and wrong, actually."

She shivered slightly, "Remember how I decided that i wanted you to _not _ignore my birthday?" she said, clearly trying to distract me.

"Yes." I agreed, warily.

"Well, I was thinking, since it's still my birthday, that I'd like you to kiss me again."

"Your greedy tonight."

"Yes, I am-- but please, don't do anything you don't want to do."

I Laughed, then sighed, "Heaven forbid that I should do anything that I don't want to do." I said and then put one finger under chin to bring it up to me and I kissed her. I had drawn many careful lines with myself when I kissed her so that I wouldn't hurt her. But this time, all those lines seemed to dissolve with the kiss. I didn't want it to stop. My lps became urgent and filled with want against hers, my free hand tangled in her long soft chocolate brown locks and held her securly onto my face, and hers in my hair. Usually when this happened I would stop her, but I didn't this time. I body pressed up against hers through the thin quilt that separated us. Then I felt the familiar pulse of venom spread through my mouth. I stoped abruptly and pushed her away gently.

"Sorry," I said slightly panting, "That was out of line."

"_I _ don't mind." she replied panting as well, but more heavily. I frowned.

"Try to sleep, Bella."

"No, I want you to kiss me again."

"Your overestimating my self-control."

"Which is tempting you more, my blood or my body?" she challenged me.

I thought that over quickly, "It's a tie." I grinned at my comeback but then straightened my face out again. "Now, why don't you stop pushing your luck and go to sleep."

"Fine." She agreed and snuggled closer to me and a sighed.

In the morning when she woke up I had already knew what was going to become of this week. I kissed her forehead and darted out her room and dashed back to my house to tell my family.


	4. Chapter 3

_**For Bella**_

_Chapter 3- The End_

The week went slowly.

"Do you mind if I come over today?" I asked her before she slid into her truck. It had been a week since her birthday. Since the day what I was—what my family was had almost ended her. I had realized it, the night that we'd kissed for the last time, the night of her eighteenth birthday; that I would have to take option three. Option three; to force her into option one—to remove myself from her life and force her into a normal human life.

It was killing me. Killing me to my core, but I had started to distance myself.

Bella had noticed. There was no doubt about that. I could see the wariness, the hesitation whenever she looked at me. I wanted so desperately to know what she was thinking. Well, I was always desperate for that, but more so than ever. I wanted to know what was going through her head every time she turned from me, expression pained.

"Of course not." Her voice was toneless. She said it without looking at me. It was a mirror of my own tone and actions in the last week. I could see the pain flicker across her beautiful face.

"Now?" I prompted, opening the door of her truck for her. I was urgent to get this out of my head before I dodged it again. I had already delayed far too long. I knew it would only make it harder for her later on, but I just couldn't let her go. She was my world. Every moment I spent with her was a miracle. I internally shuddered at the thought of being separated.

_For Bella,_ I thought for what was sure to be the millionth time, _no matter how much pain I'm bound to suffer, I'm doing this for Bella._ I glanced at the face of my precious Bella. How perfect she was.

"Sure," she replied, bringing me back to the present. Her voice was even, although uncertainty flashed in her eyes.

I hated to see her like this.

Hated it so much. I wanted to comfort her—wanted to console her. I wanted to kiss her, and stroke her hair, and tell her that everything was all right, and I was sorry, and I loved her.

_For Bella._ I reminded myself,_ I'm doing this for her._

"I was just going to drop a letter for Renee in the mailbox on the way. I'll meet you there." I glanced over into the passenger's seat of her truck to spy an envelope. I suspected it had the pictures she'd promised her mother. I reached out a hand and plucked it off the cushions.

"I'll do it," I volunteered, careful to keep my voice quiet and devoid of enthusiasm. I could not let my mask slip now. "And I'll still beat you there." Despite my strict orders to myself, I felt the corner of my lips twitch up the slightest bit. I caught myself mid-smile and didn't let it touch my eyes.

_For Bella._

"Okay," she agreed, not smiling back like she usually did. I didn't need to read her mind to know that she loved it when I smiled like that. I shut her door and headed to my Volvo, letting the tough mask slip as soon as her eyes were off me. I felt my features slip into a grimace of pain.

I dropped the letter off and sped to her house in record time, parking in the father's space—I had no intention of being there long, I had so many things to do before her ancient Chevy got there. Why wouldn't she let me buy her something small and quiet and efficient? I cringed away from the thought. I never would get the chance to do anything more for her again.

This would be my last act of love.

I blurred into the house, and found a piece of paper and a pen. I knew Bella well enough to know what I was about to do would hurt her. I knew she would not go straight home. I would take a precaution to that, so if her father returned home before she did, at least he wouldn't be beside himself with worry. I visualized the lovely casual scrawl of Bella's handwriting in my mind, and wrote, letter for letter, in the same hand:

Going for a walk with Edward, up the path. Be back soon.

—B

I sighed and returned the pen to the drawer I had located it in. That was the least painful of the tasks I was bound to complete before the night was done. I flinched again as I went up the stairs (blurred, I'd guess, to human eyes) into Bella's room. Her scent—her absolutely mouthwatering scent saturated the room. But also, it was mixed with my own.

I scanned the room for a half a second before I spied the plane tickets Carlisle and Esme had gifted Bella with to go see her mother. Those would be the first to go. I scooped them from her bedside table. I kept them in my hands as I discovered scrapbook Renee had given her for her birthday lying on the floor. I knew there would be pictures in it. "A clean break" the words echoed in my mind—the engrained speech I had practiced to give to her. "It will be as if I'd never existed."

If vampires were able to cry, that was exactly what I would have been doing as I knelt on the floor beside her bed and opened to the first page. I saw many pictures of my own face staring back at me. The first in her kitchen on her birthday. I saw my flawless face, but paid no mind. It only reminded me of what I was…and of the damage I'd rendered because of it. I sighed in relief as I saw Bella's own face smiling back from behind the camera, reflected in my golden eyes. My eyes flicked to the next picture.

It was of her father and myself in her living room. My face looked so different here. My expression was cold and hard and distant. This picture held no interest to me—the person I was looking for was nowhere to be seen in it. I looked at the last picture the metal tabs held on this page. I was confused for a fraction of a second. Only half of the picture was there—the half of myself, my eyes guarded and distant, as I'd meant them to be. To distance myself—to make the break easier on her. Where was she? I remembered this picture was of both of us.

I took the picture out and found Bella had folded the picture over, placing the half with herself down. Why would she do such a thing? Why would she hide her gorgeous face? Who would want to look at me when she was there? I scowled. I knew why. She thought I was beautiful—an angel. She thought, with me as a comparison, she looked hideous and plain. I almost gagged with disgust at the idea. Not at Bella—of course not at Bella. But at the idea that the words hideous or plain would even fit in the same paragraph as my Bella.

I flinched. She would not be my Bella for very much longer.

At the bottom of the page was a line of writing.

Edward Cullen, Charlie's kitchen, Sept. 13th

I gazed at my name in her beautiful, awkward handwriting. I could practically see the care and love oozing from the letters. She'd written my name neater, more calligraphic than the other words.

A dagger buried itself deep in my chest at that.

I plucked each of the pictures from their holders and gathered them into my hand. I went through the other pages, removing any that depicted my face. I tried not to linger on the ones that had Bella in them, but failed. I stared at her face—her beautiful face, knowing I would never see it again after tonight.

I was tempted to take those pictures too, to have them to gaze at in the lonely nights which would never bring sleep as a relief to the agony I could feel stirring in my chest, waiting for the night to close. But I would leave her with those. I would do nothing that would suggest that I wanted her—needed her as badly as I did.

I straightened myself up. It seemed like I'd knelt on her floor for hours, although it must've only been one minute since I'd arrived here. I popped open the lid of her old beaten up CD player, and found the recording of my piano playing. I wanted to get her an iPod—an 80 gigabyte one that could hold all the songs she wanted. Or at least an MP3 player. She would like that. I shook my head, clearing the thoughts. I was giving her the best thing I could: a normal life. That was all I could do for her now.

I took the CD out gingerly and closed the lid with a muted snap. I felt the dagger in my chest twist painfully. What was I going to do with these? Could I bear to take them, as I'd intended to—leaving her with nothing to remind her of me but her memories that would soon fade?

Yes. That was the rational answer. That was the point. A clean break, I reminded myself. I made a snap decision. I walked to the very corner of her room, behind her desk, and knelt down to the wooden flooring there. With my non-human strength I wrenched the floorboard up, revealing about a six inch space beneath it. This is wrong, I told myself. This goes against the point.

But I couldn't do it. I couldn't leave her with no record of me—of the insane, desperate way I loved her. She would never find these things here, I reasoned.

I placed the plane tickets, the pictures, and the CD in the space beneath the floorboards. Replacing the flooring, I sealed away all the evidence she had that I'd every really been here with her.

I couldn't be sure whether or not I was grateful vampires could not cry.

I was back in my car, trying hard not to think about what I was about to do, when her noisy truck roared up into the driveway. I saw the driver's side door open in my rearview mirror and stepped out of my own car as well. I went to meet her, reading the wary expression on her face. I took her book bag as I usually did, but instead of carrying it into the house as I did on a normal day, put it on the passenger's seat. Confusion and suspicion flashed in her beautiful chocolate brown eyes.

"Come for a walk with me," I suggested in my poker voice. My poker face had been in place the moment I'd seen her drive up. I took her hand, unable to stop myself. It felt so warm in mine. In my head, I sighed, and imagined myself reaching out to stroke her face, again imagining what I would say: _I'm sorry, I'm sorry for the way I've acted…I'm sorry, I love you, don't ever leave me: I need you. _

But instead I stared straight again into the trees as we walked toward to path on the east side of her yard. I wanted so badly, with the time I had left, to gaze at her face, to memorize it, although I could already see it perfectly clear through my photographic memory. Again, I was desperate to hear what she was thinking.

We'd gone a few steps into the trees, and I decided that I shouldn't go too far in. I should leave her in sight of the house. I couldn't deal with her getting lost after this—not after what I was about to do to her. The dagger buried itself deeper, impaling my still, unbeating heart. I arranged my features into my perfect poker mask before I faced her, leaning against a tree.

"Okay, let's talk," she said. It surprised me how brave, how sure her voice sounded. I took a deep breath. My chest ached. The dagger twisted and went deeper. I didn't allow a wince to leak through my mask.

"Bella, we're leaving." She took a deep breath too. I couldn't understand the expression on her face. There was no pain, only deep concentration. The next words out of her mouth also surprised me. She always kept me guessing…right up until the very end. I shoved that thought from my mind.

"Why now? Another year—"

I countered quickly. I couldn't allow any uncertainty on my part to reach her.

"Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all?" I said, making it up as I went. "Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon, regardless." That should be enough to answer her questions. She was silent for a moment. The expression of deep concentration returned to her face. Antagonizing silence emanated from her mind. And then realization dawned across her beautiful features. There was a hint the pain I'd feared.

Twist. Wince.

"When you say _we_—" she whispered. She'd though I was talking about her. Pain shot clear and strong through me. How much deeper could the sword go before it punctured straight through my back?

"I mean my family and myself." I said each word with separate clarity. She shook her head back and forth as if she was trying to clear a daze from it. Minutes dragged by before she spoke again.

"Okay. I'll come with you." The agony was worse this time. Twice as strong as all the other stabs put together.

"You can't, Bella. Where we're going…" I deliberated quickly for the right words. "It's not the right place for you." _Deny it,_ the weaker side of me pleaded her silently, _deny it. Tell me to stay, tell me to stay._

"Where you are is the right place for me." _Thank you._

"I'm no good for you, Bella," I told her truthfully. She belonged in a world of sunlight and blue skies. She didn't deserve the shadows I lived in.

_Say it's not true,_ the weak part of me whispered in my head again. _Tell me I deserve you. Tell me I'm good enough to love you._

"Don't be ridiculous," she said. It came out as a beg that wrenched my still heart. "You're the very best part of my life." Oh God, how was I going to get through this?

"My world is not for you," I argued. The truth again.

"What happened with Jasper—that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!" That hadn't been Jasper's fault at all. It was mine…all mine. Because of the despicable creature I was.

"You're right," I agreed, "It was exactly what was to be expected."

"You promised!" She said unexpectedly (as always), taking a different route. "In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay—" I could hear every word in my head from that day. Another promise to be broken. Another heart.

"As long as that was best for you," I interrupted, counteracting smoothly.

_Tell me you need me. Tell me to stay._

"_No_! This is about my soul isn't it?" She guessed, shouting. As always she saw straight to the heart of me. Though, I was guiltily grateful. Anger I could handle—could keep my poker mask through. If she started sobbing, I didn't know if I could still act through that. But the words resembled her earlier ones: like a beg, a plea. "Carlisle told me about that," Carlisle? I pushed the new thoughts aside "and I don't care, Edward! I don't care."

_Don't do this_, the stronger part of me was pleading now, _I'm not strong enough for this. _

"You can have my soul. I don't want it without you—it's yours already!"

How could I take her soul? Hadn't I already taken enough? She was like the Wizard of Oz, giving away her brain, her heart. All to me. Me who already had a brain—however cynical—me who already had a heart—however silent—me who had no soul to offer back.

_Tell me I'm good enough to love you—_

I felt ice flood my system, freezing my heart and the dagger in it—freezing the weaker side of me mid-sentence.

"Bella…I don't want you to come with me." The lie came out as smooth as honey, cold as ice. She paused, her face confused.

"You…don't…want me?" She whispered. The words came out as if she was testing them—trying them out to see how her mouth formed them, not a question. But I answered anyway. And out came the most hideous lie I had ever told.

"No." Pain exploded through me. My entire body rippled and shuddered with it, although I did not move. She stared into my eyes. I could see my cold expression reflected in her wide eyes. I reinforced my mask, making sure she couldn't see down into my non existent soul, and see how much I loved her…see how much I needed her.

"Well, that changes things." It surprised me how calm her voice was—like she hadn't grasped what I was saying yet.

_Don't believe me._ The weaker side broke through the ice, but I shoved it back down, freezing it over again. She stared blankly at me, so I decided to get on with my speech.

"Of course I'll always love you…" _forever and ever,_ my weak side fought its way up. I didn't force it down this time. I allowed it to speak. _Even when I am ash and dust, scattered in the wind, every fiber of my being will love you with an intensity the universe has never seen before. Even if I do have a soul, and I burn for eternity in the fires of Hell, it will be your name I scream out again and again. I will always love you, even when my essence no longer exists in this universe, my love with remain._ "…in a way."

I couldn't let that go on if I expected myself to get through this without slipping up.

"But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change." That sentence was true. "Because I'm…_tired_ of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human. I've let this gone one much too long and I'm sorry for that."

_I've hurt you too much. I'm so sorry. I love you too much. I'm so, so sorry. _

"Don't." Her voice was only a whisper—a begging plea that made the dagger in my chest burst into flames, charring the wound. Only it didn't cauterize it—didn't stop the bleeding. This was not ordinary fire. It only made the agony sear. I could see the pain suddenly fade into her eyes, like turning the color up on a computer monitor. "Don't do this."

_I'm not, sweetheart, Bella, my love. I love you more than the universe, more than anything. Believe me. _

I froze the words where the popped up in my head. The emotion in my eyes iced over. I would _not_ make this harder on her.

"You're not good for me, Bella." I flipped my words around so they were no longer the truth.

_I'm lying, my Bella, my only love. Don't believe me._

Why couldn't I stop thinking these thoughts? _Make them stop,_ I pleaded, _before I do something I shouldn't_. She opened her mouth to say something.

_Deny it. You know it's a lie. If there's anyone who deserves me and so, so, so much better it's you. _

Luckily my mask was not so much a mask now, but a steel wall around all my emotions.

She closed her mouth.

How can you believe that? I wanted to shout at her. How can you possibly think you don't deserve me?

"If...that's what you want." I nodded once. Her face went numb…like she was in denial.

"I"—_love you so much I might just die here right in front of you, love you so much I could die so I won't have to live without you, love you so much I could die so you can have a life without interference from me, love you_—"would like to ask one favor though, if that's not too much." Courage, purpose flashed across her face, as if she was determined to do one last thing for me. I felt a split second of pain leak through my mask and flicker across my face. I reinforced the walls three times.

"Anything," she vowed.

_Stay with me, _I wanted to say_, hold me, kiss me, love me. Bella, Bella…_

I let my walls down carefully, letting the ice melt to my neck, where it stopped. I didn't want to release the ice from the dagger in my chest yet…not until she was out of sight.

"Don't do anything reckless or stupid," I ordered. I heard my voice, suddenly so much less detached. I could bear to lose her this way. Barely, but I could keep breathing in and out, knowing she would be safe, and someday happy. But if I lost her completely…I couldn't stand the world without her in it. "Do you understand what I'm saying?" She nodded helplessly, as if grasping at threads. The pain flared, but I froze myself back up. I would leave her with no loose ends. "I'm thinking of Charlie of course," I lied. I "He needs you. Take care of yourself—" for me "for him." She nodded again, the blank, dazed look of denial still glazing her eyes. I didn't know which would have been worse—this or crying.

"I will," she whispered. I relaxed. I'd made this point to myself hundreds of times since I'd decided to do this—to destroy the meaning of my life. She could not love me as much as I loved her. No one could love anyone as much as I loved Bella. It was physically impossible. Everything inside me—all the extra room in my head that came with being a vampire, the empty caverns of my heart, and all the empty space left behind by the absence of my soul—that was all filled with my love for her. There was no where else to put any more. She would get over me. She would love someone else eventually. She would be _happy_.

The strength of that thought, however painful, gave me the strength to say the hardest part—my promise. I would promise her one last thing, one last gift she could not return.

"And I'll make you a promise in return." Even to myself the words sounded cold and distant. "I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back." _And it will kill me. It will kill me to be away from you. It's killing me to do this—to say I don't love you. Bella, Bella, my love, my life._ "You can go on with your life without any more interference from me." _You can live a happy normal life_. "It will be as if I'd never existed."

_Which is what it should have been—I shouldn't exist._ It was a fact I had lived with for eighty-odd years. The very fact that I was living and breathing went against nature. Bella deserved someone whose existence did not go against the laws of the universe—a normal human man who could walk in the sunlight with her—someone who could grow old and die with her.

Her knees started to shake, and I heard her pulse speed up.

_No, don't do this_ my stronger side begged; _I won't be able to get through this. I won't be able to go._ The dagger burst into flames again, twisting and turning, cutting my motionless heart to shreds. For Bella, I did not let it show. Once again, I let the ice melt from my eyes.

"Don't worry. You're human" _And I'm not_ "your memory is no more than a sieve."

_Forget me_.

_Please don't forget me_.

_For Bella_, I scolded myself. _For Bella…_

"Time heals all wounds for your kind." _Someday…please be happy._

"And your memories?" She choked. It sounded as if she was gagging on something—like she was drowning.

"Well—" —nothing would make me forget. I could never forget the beauty of her face, the loveliness of her voice, the brilliance of her smile, the goodness of her heart— "I won't forget." With my photographic memory, it would be physically impossible to forget. Thank God—thank heaven for that. "But _my_ kind" ­_will only hurt you_ "…we're very easily distracted." I smiled at her, forcing my walls back up, freezing the solid iron so nothing would leak through. How easily the lie came. There would be no distraction from the…from the agony. Agony I could see flaring behind the hazy emptiness of her eyes.

For the millionth time, I want to run to her, to stroke her hair, to tell her that I was a liar, and I was sorry.

But instead, although I thought it would kill me to take a step further from her, away from my Bella, my life, I did.  
"That's everything, I suppose." _You're my everything._ "We won't bother you again." She looked up at me, her expression hollow, and dead. But something flashed in her empty eyes.

"Alice isn't coming back," she said to herself, her voice trembling like a leaf in the wind. I shook my head slowly, watching her, wanting to hold her, to kiss her.

"No. They're all gone." They were all gone. Everything in my life would soon be meaningless. "I stayed behind to tell you goodbye." I'd stayed behind to tell goodbye to my life. Because the little four letter word: love was not nearly enough to hold the way I felt for Bella. I loved her. I loved her so desperately, that it hurt to be away from her. And when I was, I was sure I would die, I was sure of it. I knew Carlisle had proved that there was almost no way to kill a vampire, but no one had ever tried to kill from the inside out.

I loved her so badly that I needed her like she needed food. Bella was my world. She was the air I breathed. But unlike the air that did nothing to sustain my life, she was what kept me alive.

"Alice is gone?" She repeated, wrenching me away from my thoughts. How stupid of me. There would be more than enough time for that when my life was over. How could I be stupid enough to spend my last moments with her lost in thought?

"She wanted to say goodbye," I remembered Alice's face when I'd told her and cringed away from it, "but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you."

My memory drudged up the image of the Phoenix hospital x-ray room. I held Bella's hand while the doctor traced the line of her severed bone. _You have a clean break_, he'd said, _that's good. It will heal more easily, more quickly._

Bella's breathing accelerated.

_No, sweetheart, no,_ my weaker side kept pushing up through the ice and metal. _You deserve so much better than me. You need to be happy, and that's just not something I'll be able to give to you._

"Goodbye, Bella," I whispered to her, gazing one last time at the beautiful face of my precious creature.

"Wait!" She gasped, as if she was having trouble breathing. The helpless, horrified, pleading expression almost undid me. According to Carlisle, my self control was unimaginable, but it was just something I did. I could not imagine hurting Bella—drinking her blood. Although, sometimes I was close to slipping, but I always was in control.

This plea was so much stronger than the call of her blood. That choked broken word almost smashed my defenses and I almost fell to the ground in front of her, begging her to take me—to love me. Instead I just unconsciously took a step towards her. But she was stumbling towards me too, horror on her face now. I wrapped my hands around her wrists and pressed my lips to her forehead.

Time moved so much differently to me than it did to her. To her it would have only seemed a fraction of a second. But to me, I stood there for minutes on end, memorizing the feel of her skin against my lips, the heat of her against the ice I was constructed of, the indescribably wonderful scent that radiated from her.

In my mind, I imagined myself pulling her too me, and moving my lips to her own, and whispering I loved her into the hollow at the base of her throat as I made her gasp for air, gave her pleasure from my kisses, made her feel wonderful—like the extraordinary angel she was.

But I didn't.

An angel such as her did not belong with a demon like me.

And I refused to steal heaven from her grasp.

So instead, I just moved my lips to hover beside her ear, and whispered:

"Take care of yourself." _My love, my Bella…May your days be filled with sunshine. _

And I ran. I ran at inhuman speed away from the little cloudy town that had become my home, away from the forest where I loved to run the most—away from the most important thing of my existence.

And then the pain hit me. I hadn't realized before—I'd been running so fast—that when I'd wrenched myself away from the trail, the dagger had stayed too, as if there was a chain attached to the end of it, tied around one of the ancient trees. I felt hollow, empty. The sword had impaled my heart, I remembered. It must have ripped my heart out with it, leaving a huge, searing hole in my chest.

Maybe the chain wasn't tied to a tree, I reasoned, maybe Bella held—I cried aloud in agony. The thought of her name sent such torture through me, I stopped breathing. I grimaced with the irony.

My heart would always belong with her.

The ragged edges of the hole sent agonizing, searing waves of loss emanating through my body. I fell to my knees, knocked breathless again by the strength of it. I sat, knees drawn up to my chest, arms around them, trying to keep the hole from tearing wider—tearing me into pieces. What was left of me, that is.

I don't know how long I stayed like that. I knew it was dark then, and though no moon filtered through the dense trees, I could still see. How dark it must be for a human, I thought in passing. I didn't dare move. I didn't dare think. I could feel the edges of the hole, rippling, curling in, waiting for me to slip up and think of her.

Far off in the distance, though I must have been at least thirty miles from Forks, I heard the voices of people's thoughts.

_Thank God, we found her._ That was Charlie. Found her? In his mind, I saw her on the couch—I was careful not to think her name, and I didn't focus on her in the picture I saw through Charlie's mind.

"_I want to know if Edward left you alone out there in the middle of the woods,"_ he insisted. I'd left her right by the house. How had she gotten lost?

"_It was my fault. He left me right here on the trail, in sight of the house…but I tried to follow him."_

_Tried to follow him?!_ Charlie and I had the same thought. Oh, no. I grimaced as the edges of the hole began to burn as I registered her voice—as hollow and empty as it was—still so beautiful. Charlie was about to scold her but she interrupted him.

"_I can't talk about this anymore, Dad. I want to go to my room."_ I felt Charlie's confusion as she dashed up the stairs. I tuned out the frequency of Charlie's thoughts and stared at the dark grass. She wasn't crying. That was a good sign. Maybe she wasn't in love with me, as she thought she was.

A small part of me ached at that, but I was relieved. This way she would move on more quickly. She probably only stayed with me because of the incredible "beauty" of vampires…or the money….or—no. I shook my head. She was not shallow like that at all. I was thinking of Rosalie. She…my love, was kind, and honesty, and unselfish. She saw people for who they really were. But wait, if that were true, why did she still want to be with me…maybe she only thought herself in love with me?

Of course it couldn't be love, I reasoned. You couldn't love someone without a soul.

I wave of pain shot through me as I remember what I'd hidden below the floorboards. She would never find them. I knew it. Why I had done such a juvenile, dim-witted thing?

I was in love.

And now my life was over.

_For Bella. For her happiness…for her life. For my one and only. For my Bella._ I took the pain without crying out this time, although it was almost worse.

Even as far away as I was, I was sure I could still hear the distant throb of her heartbeat. It was slow and even. She was asleep. Good. I would have guessed it was past three in the morning. Not that it mattered to me.

I couldn't move. I figured I might as well stay here. The hole wasn't acting up right now.

That didn't last long once I heard her start screaming.

I jumped to my feet and, despite my deepest impulse (to go to her and comfort her and love her like no one else was capable of), I ran in the opposite direction of the cries of my love's agony.

_For Bella, for Bella, for Bella,_ I chanted in my head as I ran. The pain was worse than anything I'd ever experienced—worse than the Spanish influenza, worse than James' teeth ripping across my arm in Phoenix (I'd never told Bella of this), worse than the writhing torture of being changed—but somehow I kept running… running… running… away from my everything.

_For Bella, for Bella, for Bella. _


End file.
